Hey Reader Yesterday, I had a coaching call with another coach. We were discussing goals, and if you've been to one of my workshops recently, you know I love some specific goals. But my life doesn't center around my goals, and we hit on a philosophical difference there. The thing is, while our goals help us focus and provide a filter we can use to decide on our next steps, I don't think goals are what we center our life around. I mean, you can if you want to (you are the boss of you!), but I'm going to make the argument against it. The problem with goals The thing about being entirely goal-focused is that you have all these moments of pushing and doing and then fleeting moments of satisfaction and gratification before you're on to the next goal. And depending on how you roll, all these thoughts can come up if you fall short of a goal when your life centers around achievement. The alternative Instead of being focused on goals, we can focus on the values we hold. Because values come in different forms and we can find success in them now and in the future. An example might be helpful, hey? I once had a goal of being an amateur athlete. It was a big part of my life for a while. I was never going to be competitive competitive, but I was a competitive amateur athlete. Once I started participating in international tournaments, the bar just kept getting higher and higher. I wanted to go to bigger tournaments. I wanted to play in higher divisions. It was never going to be enough. I always had a few tournaments on the calendar. And this was great for a while until COVID hit and we weren't playing team sports anymore. And then a frozen shoulder hit. And there I was, not knowing what was driving me when I wasn't working. But there was a way that we could make this values-driven, that could have changed the story for me. What I valued was the connection I had with people. I also got a lot of pleasure out of being really present with my body. And connecting with others and being present with my body doesn't have to take just one form. There are little ways I can engage in that today, as well as working to bigger representations of it in the future. What does this have to do with money? Often, I see people who have great, specific dollar goals. And they're great because they're specific. But they're often disconnected from what they want from life. It ends up playing out in a few different ways. Either they are really good at hitting goals, but the moment they hit the goal, they feel triumph, then nothing. So they just keep setting increasing goals, without ever reaching that sense of satisfaction. Or they set the goal, they miss the goal, and they get really discouraged. It's one thing if you miss a goal once, but if you miss a goal several times, you start questioning yourself and your identity. Or they set the goal, but can't seem to do the things. Random goals aren't motivating. You know what's motivating? Knowing how the revenue that's rolling into your business is allowing your to live into your values. Knowing how it's supporting your love for adventure, or your ability to feel connected with the people you care about. Or how your business can provide support for the community around you. What values do you want to live into in your life? What goals might you set from those values? With love, P.S. Making Friends with Your Money is on next week! Free sign-up is here if you're interested! While we touch on goals, we'll be spending more time on why taking action on them feels hard, and what to do instead! Please pass it on to anyone you think might be interested! |
Hey Reader Every time I hit this time of year, I feel slightly like I've been run over by a bus. It can be hard remembering what's happened over the last year. Flipping back through planners, journals and calendars is a lifesaver. This year? I'm celebrating: Friggin beautiful, kind words from clients (the first round of group coaching is closing this week, and I might be feeling a little sappy about it) Finally feeling like I know my messaging and positioning (how amazing is it when you hear...
Hey Reader, This morning I realized there are only 48 days left in the year. Can you believe it? It crept up on me. It feels like a good moment to pause and reflect. It doesn't have to be a huge pause, mind you. It can just be a little pause to recalibrate. It's so easy to get swept up in the busy-ness of the season. And global politics don't help. It's easy to feel like you're riding the waves in someone else's boat. It's easy to forget where we have influence. So I'm practicing remembering...
Hi Reader When I started my bookkeeping practice in 2020, a business coach friend asked what the top 3 things I wanted from it were. The only one I can remember with certainty was ‘agency,’ because that’s the one that got me a funny look. Mind you, this was a couple of years after I left teaching. I was on the tail end of burnout, and all I could think about was being able to pee whenever I wanted to, never mind all the bigger things I had wanted to experience and create with my students....